im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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