Jerry, you need to find god
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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