I didn't shave. On purpose
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
