I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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