When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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