I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
