Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
