And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
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Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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