Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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