i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize