I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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