Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize