Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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