I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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