No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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