therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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