What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
