Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
