So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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