U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
