he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
4 words: hood of his car
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
