how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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