bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
