Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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