I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
