you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The adults are the big ones right?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
