I wish you could order shots online.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
