We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
