Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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