"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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