He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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