when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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