Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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