I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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