i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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