Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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