So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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