You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
