Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
