dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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