You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
