Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize