someone get that fucking seahorse.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
