Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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