also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Randomize
