I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Umm I'm too high to move.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
