oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
