Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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