dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
