how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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