she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
