You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
