Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize