The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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