you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
