Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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