This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
