Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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