the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
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I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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