Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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