I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
