Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize