My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
