Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
